Is true love and happiness just the carrot dangled in front of us?

The possibility that we can find true love and happiness is the carrot dangled in front of us. It is the promise in every romantic comedy. We would be disappointed if it wasn’t. However, real life begs the question of whether we have placed our faith in fairytales. I know I have wondered this.

In my teens and early twenties I battled the fear that nobody would want to marry me. My three younger siblings were married and I found myself wallowing in longing and loneliness. Marriage and family seemed to be the missing element that would fill the void I felt. My mother was convinced it was the next thing I needed and I admit I listened to her. I even went so far as to visit a “boyfriend” in another province with whom I had a rather long long-distance relationship to let him know I was finally ready to settle down. Unfortunately I discovered he was now taken.

I watched an interview with a young woman who had every marriageable quality, namely beauty, youth, understanding, insight. She cleans houses for a living and lives frugally. Who wouldn’t want a woman like her for a wife? But like me, she expressed a fatalistic acceptance of never being married. It hit me that I know very many in their twenties and thirties like her. I wished I could open a match-making service to bring these people together.

I think what is missing is opportunity to meet a varied group of marriageable people in a setting where there is no pressure.

Someone told our college-aged group that we would marry out of our acquaintances and this jarred me. I realized that I held onto a fantasy that my prince would come riding into town one day. He was not already there, among my peers, waiting to be acknlowledged. I had tried to broaden my horizons. Nothing wrong with that. I remember a girlfriend and I went to a gathering of youth across the border, with no other intent than the hope that we might meet someone.

I wasn’t alone in my thinking. Two of my best friends also despaired of ever getting married. Like the girl I mentioned earlier, they had everything to recommend them for marriage but it was as though all hell was bent on keeping us from the alter. Recently I have begun to think there may actually be some truth to this. We cannot deny there are oppositional forces keeping people apart and preventing them from committing to another person.

Why should my girlfriend and I get married, a young man asked me. So you can have a family, was my response.

Family. Think about it. We come from a family, such as it was. We dream about the ideal, two-parent biological family. Nobody can deny it is what we need and want.

I think many people have given up on ever having either marriage or happiness. Not only is it disappointing to have neither love nor happiness, it is depressing and almost devastating to have to acknowledge that this was the elusive carrot and that we were virtually deceived and promised an ideal that would never happen.

But happiness is not tied to marriage. In fact, happiness is not dependent on our situation. It is a mindset. It is deciding to refuse to be unhappy and doing everything we know to do in order not to sink into despair. I’ve engaged in years of observation and study to find out why some people are happy and others are not. I’ve concluded happiness is not dependent on circumstances. People can be in an identically trying place and one will be happy while another will be on the brink of suicide. Each has arrived where they are as a result of a pattern of choices in how they respond to what life deals them.

Refusal to sink is a powerful weapon. It means you may go under water, but you will always rise again. It means you believe in your resilience. You get up as many times as you fall down.

It also means looking out for the things that make you buoyant and strong.

At the root of happiness is a personal integrity. You value your life.

It follows that if you value your own life, you will value the lives of others. And if you value the lives of others, you will live your life so as to make the world a better place. Integrity is being the same person on the outside as you are on the inside. It also means cleaning up the mess inside.

It means dealing with your anxious feelings, with your tendency to become easily annoyed, with your constant worrying, with your fearfulness, with your difficulty coping. It means facing the truth that the best thing you can do for yourself is to become a stronger, better adjusted person.

An interesting thing happened at the time in my life when I was afraid I would never get married. I increased my happiness level.

I had not wasted my time while I was waiting for my prince. I had worked at becoming marriageable. It struck me one day that I needed to become the person who would attract the kind of person I wanted to marry. Once I had this revelation an amazing thing happened. I began to have options. I also turned down unsuitable prospects because I valued myself and knew what I needed.

I was still unrealistic, however. I might not marry a “handsome prince.” Looking back I see that I had a sad pattern of always falling for a stereotype. Yes, the tall, dark, handsome type. I married a ginger.

As I thought about who I wanted in my life as a life partner, I decided that I wanted someone whom I would enjoy sitting across from me at the breakfast table for my remaining years.

Happiness has not come easy for me, but the pursuit has been rewarding. I think we find happiness in the pursuit because our eyes are opened.

Lately I have had more of a struggle maintaining a happy spirit. I awaken at night with dismal feelings, even feelings of doom. I don’t think it is possible to be truly happy unless your soul is at rest. This is where I believe the Christian faith shines. Not only does the example of Christ inspire, we are offered forgiveness. This is such a unique and profound concept. That we can start anew. That we can be restored in our relationship after having failed. That we can offer this hope to others.

A life of integrity is a life lived with the quiet assurance that we have done our part reasonably well. This is what helps us sleep at night. It is also a life that is not naive and can face with courage the evil and devastation in the world. Let’s be honest, there is evil and devastation. The longer we live, the more we see. This is the reason for my feelings of doom. It is the reality we live with. The only response I have found to lift me out of this place is prayer. Prayer is an aspect of virtually all religions. But prayer is only a placebo if the entity to which we are praying is a figment of our imagination. On the other hand, if we believe in a Creator of the universe, then it follows that this Creator and sustainer of life cares. Every day we have a new sunrise. Every day the birds are fed. Every day plants grow. This simple observation is enough to lift me out of despair every time because it is evidence that my Creator lives. My only reasonable response is awe and worship and gratitude.

When I awake with feelings of doom in the middle of the night, I begin to pray for the world. The beauty and the order I see in creation, the intricacies of the balance of nature, inspire me to pray for the same thing among human beings. In other words, I pray “Thy kingdom; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

I consider myself the most fortunate person on earth to have grasped this understanding. Prayer for me is not a placebo. It is a powerful coming into unity with the one who created me and sustains me. We have been done a serious disservice by being taught to put our faith in the theory of evolution. We have been told to believe in a “theory.” In fact the qualifier, “theory” has been mostly erased. In university we are stigmatized if we do not “believe” in evolution.

This is more critical than people realize. I propose that the real purpose of the introduction of the theory of evolution was actually an objection to belief in a Creator. However, looking at the laws of the universe will quickly dispel the theory. Seeing that there is no evidence of the “in-between” and “imperfect” stages of development disproves the theory. Yes, there are similarities between species that could point to giving rise to superior species and development from simplicity to complexity. But there are components that need to be in place simultaneously and so many components that evolution never attempts to explain. This proposition merely depends on our ignorance and inability and unwillingness to open our eyes and see and reason.

Why is this relevant to marriage and happiness? Every species propagates. Propagation is part of purpose. If we cannot propagate, we can support others who can. Do you see how evolutionary theory opposes propagation? It cannot have a worldview of blessing and sustenance by the Creator. It totally depends on personal effort. Well, we are doomed when we exclude a Greater Power.

This is why faith can be threatening. It truly engages a Higher Power. It is also why faith and religion have not only been maligned but have been distorted and destroyed from within and become unrecognizable as a source of goodness and strength. It is what the Bible refers to as damnable, the “holding of truth in unrighteousness.” The perfection we see in creation around us is meant to be mirrored in our lives. Yes, there is forgiveness offered when we fail, and we all fail. But we are called to a higher place. A place where rivers of living water flow out of our belly. A place of fruit-bearing. A place of hope and joy and peace.

You will see that this flies in the face of popular culture. This is because God has a real adversary and people can choose with which side to align themselves.

Whenever I pray for the whole world when I have a personal need, I feel the burden lift. But it is not a victory without a battle. There is a relationship we can have with our Creator that exceeds the beauty and fulfillment of a marriage. I have lived this for decades and I have found “joy unspeakable and full of glory.” It is the glory of God we are seeking, even more than marriage and happiness. When we experience the glory we will not be satisfied with anything less. We will have a “continual feast” and it will make us the kind of people in whose company others desire to be. It will also give us patience during the times of waiting. And much of life is waiting.

I am amazed at how confrontational these simple observations are today. We have moved so far from the simple understanding of believing in a life-giving God and living a life according to godly principles in the way we were intended to live. All of nature around us is an example of the beauty and simplicity of a life lived according to the original blueprint.

How Will the New Rules Impact My Thanksgiving Dinner?

My eighty-five year old mother, who was hospitalized with covid-19 and recovered, does not want the vaccine. We have had a difficult time getting her to take any medication at any time. Now the Manitoba provincial government is telling her she cannot have her children over for Thanksgiving. If our politicians were up on the latest discoveries they would know that she has less of a risk of getting, and therefore spreading covid, than a vaccinated person. So is this really about health care?

This Thanksgiving, you may have to ask your guests to bring their vaccine cards along with cranberry sauce….Private indoor gatherings will be restricted to two households if any person at the gathering has chosen not to get vaccinated.

CBC: These new pandemic rules apply to all Manitobans

We are now seeing stats where countries with higher vaccination rates are actually experiencing higher case rates of covid than countries with lower vaccination rates.

Meanwhile VAERS, to date, shows in excess of 10,000 deaths within weeks of the vaccine and possibly 15,000 vaccine-related deaths in the USA. Mortality rates rose consistently in countries during vaccination periods. This is brushed aside because, as one doctor stated, the only time a vaccine can be noted on a death certificate as a cause of death is if the patient dies within an hour or two of receiving the vaccine. I read a series of VAERS reports and the correlation to the administration of the vaccine seemed apparent to me. We have seen a few incidents reported in the news. It appears they are not as rare as we are led to believe with women reporting injuries more frequently than men.

We were told the vaccine is safe, but then I noticed the wording changed to, “as safe as other vaccines.” Well, apparently, if you look at the data, this is the most unsafe vaccine ever to have been administered.

We were told the vaccine prevents people from getting covid, but this was quickly down-graded to preventing severe illness.

We were told that the vaccine reduces transmissibility, but then we learned that the viral load of vaccinated people was just as high as the unvaccinated in the initial stages of the disease.

Maybe we can believe that it reduces the infection rate. Maybe not. Reports out of Israel are now saying that the vaccine is only 39% effective against the Delta variant. This explains the extent of covid in Israel which was supposed to be Pfizer’s model country.

My mother is a stoic woman who takes her blows, but I don’t know how this will affect her. She lives in Manitoba, Canada, where 3 million dollars of fines have already been handed out for violations around covid restrictions.

Many nurses and doctors are quitting their jobs due to the recently imposed vaccine mandates for health care workers. Their “fine,” if they don’t quit, will be the erasure of their income–“leave without pay.” We will see the impact of this by mid-November in Canada. We cannot afford to lose a single nurse or doctor.

My whole issue with the lockdowns has always been that hospitals were over-crowded and short-staffed before the coronavirus. Lockdowns were imposed to protect the hospitals from being overwhelmed, and I get the logic. But we should have provided extra facilities for covid patients if we wanted to be pro-active. This was never done. In my province of British Columbia we have about 400 ICU beds, total. One can easily imagine that just the flu season would overwhelm the hospitals. So add a few hundred cases…and then we go into lockdown, affecting the mental health and financial future of hundreds of thousands. I know the first argument is about grandma in the care home, but let’s just say that was handled very, very poorly.

Doctors are doing their best to help their patients but are being told by our health authorities how they can and cannot treat patients with covid, what they can and cannot say to them. Anything that does not support the vaccination effort is off limits.

I just read that Bolivia asked a Canadian company to manufacture the Johnson and Johnson vaccine, but due to patent issues, months later they are not getting vaccines produced. Are we really wanting to help people or is this all about money? I’m not the first person to ask the question.

Merck has come out with a new med that is supposed to cost $700 per treatment for covid, Molnupiravir. Watch Dr. John Campbell compare Merck’s Ivermectin, which costs about $.50 per treatment with the new medication. Dr. Campbell goes into a detailed comparison of how the two drugs perform in the body, as presented in a report by another specialized doctor. He speculates that the two meds could be used in conjunction with each other for greater efficacy. Yet we have seen Ivermectin maliciously maligned, continuously, despite evidence of its effectiveness. If you look at these two articles then you will see what I’m talking about. Read carefully for bias and manipulation of facts in this article. Compare it with the chart below, from this article.

Prime Minister Trudeau has made it his mission to ensure that nobody slips through the cracks in terms of vaccine requirements for federal employees.

Trudeau and Freeland both mentioned “personal conviction” as insufficient to gain a religious exemption — which is interesting, because that’s exactly what courts look for when considering a request for religious accommodation. “Religion is about freely and deeply held personal convictions or beliefs connected to an individual’s spiritual faith and integrally linked to one’s self-definition and spiritual fulfilment,” the Supreme Court wrote in one landmark freedom-of-religion case.

National Post: Chris Selley

Meanwhile people who get vaccines have reported vaccine injuries in the hundreds of thousands, aside from deaths. Some reports say millions. I speak from experience, having suffered several serious side effects. Thankfully, for me they have somewhat subsided, although I still have concerns, but this is not the case for everyone. When I mentioned my side effects to a doctor, because the injection site would not vaccinate me after I described what happened after my first dose, the doctor would not entertain the possibility of giving me an exemption. He did not inquire further about symptoms but just focused on whether I should get the same vaccine or a different one. Would it be a “booster” or a “new vaccine” if I switched to a different vaccine?

As far as I am able to detect, in a certain percentage of people the spike protein mRNA ends up circulating in the blood system, as opposed to staying in the muscle tissue to do its job and this is what causes reactions. There is also the possibility that the delivery system, the nanoparticles, cause some problems related to where they end up accumulating in the body. What surprises me even more than the fact that this information is being suppressed is learning of two Facebook sites, dedicated to people with adverse reactions, being shut down. We are not allowed to talk about this.

Meanwhile Pfizer has put out a request to inoculate children as young as five years old.

By requiring vaccine passports to enter certain premises the government has also forced these businesses to vaccinate all of their staff. It never had to be a “mandate.” It saddens me to think of people sitting in a restaurant, for instance, and seeing their friends or relatives outside, unable to come it. I think there must be some hardening of heart in order for people to think this is OK.

I firmly believe people should be able to make their personal health choices without retribution. Now that we know the vaccine is not the cure we’ve been told, I feel even more strongly that it should not be forced on people.

When Political Issues Divide Us

A person in my family will not entertain any conversation about Donald Trump and they have made it clear how they despise even the mention of his name. They, “Can’t stand him.”

This person has not observed any good in Trump. They have not conceded that he has done good for America on any level. Their mind is completely closed.

There is no point in talking to someone of this persuasion as they are not open to any possible insights. We continue to love one another, and do not allow this to cause dissension in our family. We simply don’t go there. There are plenty of other things to talk about.

In other words, we show mutual respect for difference of opinion. Although they know others don’t see things their way, they too are tolerant of differences, if not of discussion.

Mask wearing is another area where our family members’ opinions differ. There is a little more tolerance for discussion with these members so we have talked about the subject. But, once again, there is a line we don’t want to cross. We don’t want to allow a difference of viewpoint to destroy our relationship, so we let the subject drop before it does that. We stop trying to persuade.

Trump is not all bad. He has made some positive changes in America. Masks provide some protection, depending on the material and construction. A challenging exercise is trying to hold two opposing views at the same time, balancing them against each other.

Another topic of dissension is religion. Religion is not all bad. Jewish law teaches us not to lie, steal, kill and commit adultery. Christ taught us what is considered as the Golden Rule, to love our neighbours as ourselves. Members of our family are not accepting of the religion of others, but they still continue to love one another.

When we love others we give them a lot of room. We have to allow them to make mistakes, to be wrong. We might try to help them, but even with good intentions, we will not always do the right thing. It takes humility to admit this.

Love genuinely wants the best for the other person. Unfortunately, there are a few among us who care little about others, but even in these cases, we must be careful not to jump to conclusions. I recently came across this, “Do not assume malice when ignorance could explain the situation.”

Some people shut you out when your views differ from theirs. You become the detestable “other.” I favor Christianity because it does not leave room for this attitude. In fact, it teaches people to “love your enemies” and to “pray for those who persecute you.”

I had a vision this week. I saw the love of God encompassing the world. I can’t really explain it. It was like giant arms, like a cloud, or a vapor, encompassing the earth. I was in prayer and I asked God if he wasn’t angry with the world and all the evil in it. In the Bible I read that God is often angry with the wicked, so I wanted to know. The vision zoomed in to those individual, private moments when people are most vulnerable and I was impressed with the thought that this is what God sees. This is what he does not forget, even when evil tries to obscure it. He looks beyond. This is who he loves.

We need to be a little more like God, loving beyond those things that annoy us. Loving beyond our differences.

We can allow evil to tear us apart or we can choose to love.

There are evil forces at work seeking to destroy what is precious and what is truly precious is our relationships. We must watch that our views do not become the most important thing. What matters is the other person, their needs, their dreams and desires. We can love, even with differences. But it may take some help from the example of Christ, who laid down his life, rather than persisting against resistance. At this special Christmas season, let’s remember, “For God so loved the world….”

I think the source of tolerance is the family. It is where we learn to care deeply. It is where we learn to be tolerant of differences. It is where we learn it is safe to make mistakes and where we learn to forgive. It is so important to guard these early relationships that will follow us all of our lives.