Does my life look the way I want it to look?

Something needs to change around here. I was away on holidays for two weeks. When I returned, we moved so I spent that week finding places for things. The next week I started my website and it took a lot of time to figure out what I was doing. This is week five since I talked with my agent, and I have yet to start editing my novel.

Ideally, how would I like my life to look? How much structure do I require? What are the most important things I need to do every day? Every week? What do I need to give up? What should I spend less time doing? What are my goals, and the steps I will take to achieve them?

Thankfully my neck isn’t hurting today like it has been, and I can actually think.

The other day I saw an old newspaper clipping that had a family budget drawn up for an income of $1,600 a month. So much money for rent/mortgage, utilities, insurance, clothing, food, etc. What I need to do, is figure out how to budget my time. This is nothing new to me. Before I even begin, I know that drawing up a rigid daily plan is never effective for me, so it might be an idea to start with a monthly or weekly plan.

The other day I talked about being true to my voice. Some people think it is important to have an accountability partner in order to stay on track. I think that if I can’t keep myself on track, then I have a problem. I have to be true to myself, set up attainable goals and then accomplish them. I’m not knocking the idea of an accountability partner, if that works for someone. It just doesn’t work for me. I’m always obsessing about what that person will think of my choices…how will I justify my decisions, explain my situation. Why put myself in this position in the first place? If I know what to do, then why not just do it?

Any day now I will begin editing. Yes, I will. (Why do I hear this little mocking, disbelieving voice in my mind?) And it will go well, because when I start I will be ready. There are just a few more things that need to fall into place. And, no, you are not my accountability partner. Although, if I fail you will see it. The honest truth right now is that I don’t know exactly what I want my book to look like and I am wrestling with that. This is a subject is for another post.


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