When they don’t like you

Recently I was on a blogger’s site where another blogger posted, in no uncertain terms, that he did not want this blogger to follow him. There was a lot of outrage in the following comments, but then I saw a comment that I thought was very appropriate. It went like this:

Wow, (blogger). Sorry (this person) came at you like that. You’re correct to say it’s counter-productive for anyone to attack their supporters. It’s not in their best interest. Both on my blog and on Twitter, I have people following me I have disagreements with politically, morally, and spiritually. But anyone willing to lend me an ear or extend me a hand of friendship will receive mutual respect. There are people I interact with I struggle to understand on a host of levels, but does that close me off from them? Heck no. Every once in a while, someone with an opposing or different viewpoint shares something with me that impacts me a great deal.

This was by News Burp (used with permission =)).

The blogger who was “attacked” responded by saying that he liked discussion and even a good argument but that he brushed off hostility. He chose instead to focus on improving his art with the hope that next time the reader’s response would be different.

In my last blog on “stars” I mentioned the sensitivity of some authors towards reviewers who give them ratings of less than five stars. We may disagree with our reviewers, but, before we criticize them, let’s remember that they are also our readers, our audience. We may not understand why they respond to our writing as they do, but let’s consider that their experience of our writing is a valid one, maybe even one that merits our careful attention.

Advertisements

About tinafriesen

I am a writer, a painter/artist, musician/song writer. Writing and art and music satisfy my longing for beauty and harmony and love. My world is perfect when I am able to share these gifts with others.
This entry was posted in Blog, Critique, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to When they don’t like you

  1. ioniamartin says:

    Great post. I think it is the differences among us that make blogging and social media in general worth doing. How boring and dull it would be if we all agreed and had the same exact perspective all the time. I wish people could learn to appreciate differences and not condemn others because of them.

  2. Tina, I like what you had to say about how we should treat and respond to our followers with respect. I had a very critical comment a few months ago that I decided to use for good by looking into the advice. It turned out to be a blessing as I changed my theme to a more follower friendly one and now I like it better too. The person never came back, but I did thank her for her “help”. I have learned from dealing with a relative with challenged social skills that some people are blunt without meaning to be… it always pays to think the best.

    Blessings ~ Wendy

  3. tinafriesen says:

    I tend to be brief and can come across as blunt because I don’t preface what I am going to say with an explanation. This is something I am working to improve. We truly don’t always know how we sound to others and that is why feedback is so valuable. Thanks for sharing! Blessings to you too!

  4. L. Marie says:

    Wow. I saw a post (not the one you mentioned) where a blogger asked a follower not to follow his blog because of a fundamental difference in lifestyle. I love the response you posted. It’s so gracious.

  5. Great advice on both points. I will certainly tuck away your words of wisdom for the day I need them!
    \o/

  6. News Burp says:

    I am so honored for you to have featured my comment on your blog in this fashion, Tina. If ever there has been a good time for a post like this, it’s now.

    In the news of the last week we’ve seen clearly just how out of hand things can get when we become so entrenched in an ideology that we view everyone holding a differing viewpoint as an enemy combatant.

    Never in my life did I expect to see a day come in the United States of America when agents of our government, namely IRS agents, would be guilty of harassing and intimidating those viewed as a sitting president’s political opposition. That’s not the United States of America I grew up in!

    I grew up in a United States of America where people disagreed with one another, even passionately at times, but managed to get along with one another. I am at a loss as to why that isn’t the case anymore in many instances.

    As said by an earlier poster, ioniamartin, “I think it is the differences among us that make blogging and social media in general worth doing. How boring and dull it would be if we all agreed and had the same exact perspective all the time.”

    It’s okay, even healthy and stimulating, for us to see things differently. Where would we be, both as a nation and as human beings, were it not for our diversity of thought?

    We need to think about that.

    • tinafriesen says:

      You are a little more up to date on what is happening on the political scene than I am. Of course, I’m Canadian, but we do get US news here too.

      Yes, your comment was very appropriate and timely. When people target one another a person begins to ask, what is at stake? What is being protected? Maybe there is something we are not seeing. I always like to get to the bottom of things but that is difficult when we are fed news from politically motivated sources, and other politically motivated sources are combing the internet and removing information. All the more reason to keep blogging.

  7. some people write for adulation i guess 🙂 good luck to them
    personally i write because i feel the need to write,
    i’m guessing that if someone uses the Rate feature on their blog, they’re looking for feedback and should respect the outcome 🙂
    for myself, a like or a critique/comment will suffice 🙂

    • tinafriesen says:

      I’m not sure if blogs have star ratings as books do. Stars may be a little old school, but they are a way to see a book’s rating at a glance. Rather than just a “like” or no “like,” they offer degrees of acceptance, for example: “I’m very enthusiastic about your book and I’ll recommend it to all my friends–5,” or “I thought your book was great–4,” or, “I didn’t really care for it/It’s not my thing–2.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s