I am very poor at setting boundaries. Not in every area, but when it comes to my time.
There are things I really need to say no to, so that I can say yes to what is important, like my writing, for instance. But I have this tendency to bend, to be flexible, to allow myself to be talked into things. I go over my time limit, because I am trying to be sensitive. After all, I want other people to be sensitive to my needs. Do unto others…as the saying goes.
I also feel guilty about things I shouldn’t feel guilty about. Like saying No!
Today was an example. I had said no to something on Friday, and today I was pressured to yield. It was almost impossible for me to be firm. Oh, this will only take a few minutes. I’ll just send this email. I’ll notify this person. I should probably follow this through….and so on. My husband, who, incidentally, knows how to set boundaries, finally told me how to do it. Tell them you are no longer in charge, he told me. It seemed so clear and simple to him. To me it felt like moving a mountain. It was literally as though I could feel all of this resistance.
Well, I did as he told me. And I haven’t yet checked my emails, because, to tell the truth, I’m thinking I’ll get sucked in again.